Chapter Twenty-Five

Traveling always stresses Ken. He was not born with any sort of internal compass and gets turned around easily. I wake up to an already jumpy husband. Plus, all the hotels in Lubbock are full so we will be sleeping on an air mattress on our nieces floor. Full on immersion into the crazy world of the Barnes'. We are both a little nervous about that. We have been fairly isolated out here in the home fortress. However our niece is graduating from Texas Tech and this is one of those I wouldn't miss it for the world moments. Ken is working until 11:00 and then we are eating lunch and heading out.

Today will be a complete role reversal. Today I am the comforting spouse and the one that should be the nurturer. Clearly he is better at this role than I am. We haven't even made it through coffee yet and I'm glaring at him. By the time I've loaded his lunchbox with fruit and snacks we aren't even talking. I wonder how in the world he has put up with me these last few weeks. I apologize to him for being so needy and not supporting him as I should today. He asks what the hell I'm talking about. So, to the shower.

Today I spend extra time on his feet and his shoulders. I use my forearm to massage the small of his back. As we are drying off he asks me to stop apologizing. It makes me feel bad when you think you have to apologize to me for all this. OK, no more apologies. Can you make sure the GPS is working and take a look at google maps, see if there is a way to go that doesn't have a lot of traffic? Sure, sure I can. Try and find a hotel again. OK, i'll look some more.

Hotels have been booked in Lubbock for this weekend since last year. That and the surge in oil production in west Texas has hotels and campgrounds packed. I have a better chance at winning the lottery than getting a hotel room in Lubbock or any of the surrounding cities.

I find a route that I think will work and figure out how to trick the GPS into thinking that is the best route ever.

The route I found is beautiful. The Texas Hill Country in full on spring mode is breathtaking. Miraculously we have left the house ahead of schedule and can just take our time. Ken counts the cars that pass us. In one 10 mile stretch we only had one car pass. For all the angst of the morning, this drive has turned into a peaceful, restful event. I pull out my knitting and we chit chat and laugh our way to Lubbock.

I come from a very LOUD family. We very much like to be heard. The competition for the floor is very fierce. I gave up trying to hold the floor years ago and just throw out random one liners when possible. Someone standing outside might think there was a brawl going on inside, but it's just the Barnes clan having a conversation. The telling and retelling of stories, the booming laughter, the pure intensity of our emotions usually leaves Ken as a wallflower just wanting to blend into the background. For some reason this time he's jumping in. Telling stories, making jokes. Telling our brother in law about the Naked Bike Ride and Pub Crawl at Burning Man, about some of the art, about what it means to him. He empowers me.

I am wearing a long orange dress with one of the sarongs I dyed tied into a jacket. Different attire for me around my family. Usually I stick to jeans and a nice shirt. My sisters put in orders for their own sarongs. I take a deep breathe and jump into the conversation. I tell them about watching Ken bloom at the Burn. About how it's Ken's goal in life to make Sarah cover her ears and run screaming from the room and various ways he's achieved that goal. Why is it that kids think old farts like us don't have sex? About how Sarah has started calling before she comes home now. Is everybody clothed? Ken's other two goals are to walk 10,000 steps a day and to get an all over tan before this year's Burn. I made him a soft belt out of a red t-shirt so he can wear his step counter and tan at the same time. It's very convenient to have a home and land that can't be seen from any road or by any neighbors. I show them the picture of what I was wearing when the Jehovah's Witnesses came calling. Me in my purple corset and tutu, Ken in his red string. We are pretty sure the witnesses marked our fence in some way as they haven't been back since.

Most of the group is heading out to continue the party at a bar, Ken and I stay at the house and crash. The traveling and the time spent with this crazy bunch of people has exhausted both of us.

As I'm falling asleep I realize I haven't thought about workers compensation, short term disability, or anything work related at all. Throwing yourself fully into what is in front of you, loving hard and laughing loud. I wish they could bottle this stuff.

Courtney Myers becomes a Texas Tech Alumni on Saturday morning at the 9:00 ceremony. Despite the requests from the university to leave air horns and whistles at home "to preserve the dignity of this occasion", when Courtney's name is announced multiple air horns, whistles and loud, boisterous cheers express the Barnes clan's own idea of what the occasion means to us.